Chinese Whispers

When a story is told from person to person it gets distorted and often exaggerated. This process is called "Chinese Whispers". Terrible thing though it is, as it suggests that Chinese people can't whisper, I find it quite amusing. The definition seems slightly outdated though. Indeed I think the definition should expand to cover those all too frequent situations where a message is communicated through emails within an organisation and given the ambiguity of the written English text in Asia, particularly in some places, you have each one of the recipients of the email/memo/letter, forming their own opinion about what this means and what they should do. But I suspect that this may often be down to the first whiper; "Please ensure highest hygiene conditions on site" said a recent memo, in the receiving end of which I was irritatingly included. "When are you available", said another, obscuring its purpose. Well I am available all sorts of times and in a variety of combinations; so perhaps if you have an open ended question, come and talk to me. Talk... which does bring me to my next complaint. The verbal analogous of  "Chinese emails": "Chinese meetings" I've recently interviewed a number of people on what they think the way forward is, following a large senior management meeting in my organisation, and everyone had their own interpretation of it, which, by the way, they were absolutely sure of. Answers ranged from "we need to start over from scratch in our planning approach" to "it is the usual update; no biggy". Seriously? Does this happen in other walks of professional life as well? Is one, for instance, when visiting the doctor's for an irritating cough, equally likely to be (A)given a couple of panadols and asked to drink lots fluids or (B)sent straight to the operating room to remove one's prostate? That's disturbing. I'd like to think that's not the case. I'd like to... but I don't. Deep inside my heart of hearts, I know, that every time I am given pills for a stomach condition which I've gone to great lengths to explain to a GP, I may be getting treatment for uterus infection, and every time I place an take-away order over the phone the thing that usually gets to my door, as sometimes it doesn't, will not resemble the food type I thought I ordered. It never gets easier...

You know you are driving in the Emirates if

1. You are not surprised that there is a major accident every day and as a result you are stuck in traffic, daily.


2. You've just been overtaken by a 12-year-old driving a Ferrari from the hard shoulder.


3. You are in the slow lane doing 120 but a white bus from the 60-ies 3 inches behind you is flashing its headlights.


4. There are about 4 children jumping around in the tank sized 4x4 in the lane next to you


5. One of them is sticking his head out of the sunroof.


6. You don't know if other cars have drivers in. Their windows are tinted pitch black.


7. You have a feeling that as a result of some value engineering, vehicles do not come with indicators.


8. You have seen a bus on its roof.... yeah, its roof.


9. Duct tape is a perfectly normal way to hold a bumper together.


10. You now know headlights CAN be brighter than the sun.


11. Every driver, persuming you can see them is on the phone, eating, reading a newspaper.

The hand of history on Cameron's Shoulder

David Cameron did it! by god he did it. He stuck it to the frolicking frogs, and the domineering Germans. He turned his buttocks to the EU, and told the slackers in Greece to get a job. Here's to good ol' blighty and all that... Now what?

Well, one might suggest that now is time for statistics; and as far as statistics go, London is home to - apart from the worst Metro system in the world- 33% of the European HQs of the worlld's largest companies, and to the operation centres of 65% of Fortune's Global 500 companies. More than half of Britain's trade is with the EU, and in particular 60% of Britain's exports are EU exports. Now of course, Cameron's performance last week may not spark a wave of companies exiting London, but depending on how far the island of Britain will drift as a result of David's stance, political reasons may drive Britain's future with European companies. Then, David Cameron may feel the hand of history approaching him from an entirely different angle

Property "Atmosphere" and the Morning Post

I've been trying to sell my flat in Kennedy town for a few months as I've been promised by my realtor that I'll make a killing at the current valuations. True as that may ring, it hasn't worked out so well, thus far, and I am still not rich.

I did at some point find a buyer willing to pay a good price for the flat, but after he made me fly back to hong kong for signing the agreement he suddenly vanished into thin air on the day, never to be heard of again. The good ole' hong kong ethics and dignity I suppose. I haven't since been able to sell it to someone else although hordes of people have come to see the flat. My realtor says "it's the atmosphere. There is uncertainty".

In trying to understand who is responsible for the "atmosphere" I stumbled upon a string of outrageous articles from the past 2 weeks in the South China Morning Post and here they are; Although, I trust their titles are sufficient for the diligent reader, I've marked them "buy" or "don't buy" as per their content and intended advise to the Hong Kong investor/Property buyer:

1. Investors in a ruch to sell - 7 July ---Don't Buy
2. Race to rent as buyers retreat - 13 July--- Don't buy
2. Investors steering clear of Property - 19 July ---Don't buy
3. Rise in Home Sales Continues - 20 July ---Buy

If you go back a month or more the same pattern continues. So after a month of gloom, by the way not reflected in any of the official banks' valuations which have remained steady, the SCMP tells us, not that there is a rise in home sales, but that it continues; in total contrast with what they've been reporting. Most of the articles do not contain hard numbers but opinions of property brokers. WTF, one might think.

I've also now rented my flat out to tenants terrified by the Post's doomsday warnings, and almost as soon as I did that a very determined buyer showed up...

That's it. I am cancelling my subscription.